top of page

The paradox of leadership

May 23

2 min read

1

3

0

What if tension is not the problem but the path?


Call it conflict, ambiguity, uncertainty, but it’s the discomfort that stirs something essential. The tension that lights a fire. The fire that helps us burn brighter.


You know the story. The one about the remarkable leader; calm, confident, decisive. The one everyone looks to for solutions. The one who seems unshakable.


But there’s another version we rarely talk about. The version where that same leader is anxious, unsure, and quietly overwhelmed. They don't always have the answers. They feel the weight of isolation. They second-guess and wonder if they’re doing enough. The truth is: we are all of these things. And maybe that’s the point.


Leadership isn’t about always knowing. It’s about staying curious. It’s about embracing the tension of becoming. The moments when we learn, not just lead. When we carry, but also care. When we serve, and still hold onto ourselves.


We’re taught to avoid paradox. To resolve contradiction. To figure it out, tie it up, move on. But in leadership, paradox is where the truth lives. Friction invites reflection. It humbles us, stretches us, deepens us. It teaches us that not everything must be either/or. That both/and is often more honest, more human.


Learning and leading


Leaders are expected to know. Learners are expected to ask. But the best leaders never stop learning. They listen more than they speak. They adjust more than they assert. When we think we need all the answers, we shut down growth, ours and everyone else’s. But when we lead as students of the moment, of the people, of the patterns, we show up with presence, not performance.


Caring and carrying


We lead because we care. But care can cross a line into over-functioning, over-giving, over-holding. We confuse support with responsibility. We think helping means carrying burdens that were never ours. Leadership asks us to care deeply, and to trust people with their own path. To walk beside, not ahead, not instead. The difference is subtle, but powerful.


In service and of service


Service is noble. But when we erase ourselves in the name of service, when we say yes to everything, absorb discomfort, suppress our own needs, we can slip into depletion. True service doesn’t ask for erasure. It asks for awareness. To lead from a place of strength, not sacrifice. To choose where we give, and why.


In the end, leadership isn’t about finding clarity free of contradiction. It’s about learning to live and lead within the tension. To find space in the uncertainty. To let that tension make us more real.


We don’t lead in spite of the paradox. We lead because of it

May 23

2 min read

1

3

0

Related Posts

Comments

Share Your ThoughtsBe the first to write a comment.
bottom of page